This is also common on porn websites and sites like OnlyFans where straight pornstars will have a male sex encounter because their gay fans demand it and are willing to pay for it. In several such instances, straight men are even willing to go all the way and try things most gay men would shy away from. It’s not even like the straight dudes are sexually tops only, reclaiming their sexual control in any way. Studies suggest that 10 percent of men who claim to be straight indulge in same-sex activities, which can range from jerking off together to getting pounded by each other like it’s the end of times. If that was the gay agenda all along, some of us didn’t get the memo. But gay men shouldn’t be the ones to comment on how these straight men are ruining their wives’ lives, especially because we never stop fetishising straight film actors and athletes and going out of our way to elaborate how they can destroy our holes. That’s important since there’s a level of gatekeeping within queer spaces, where you have to be so and so and identify as such and such to find yourself being accepted in the bigger community. So what were those encounters?įarhad also believes that other gay men should back off from defining what sexuality bracket these men fall under. Also, because he very much claims he’s straight to this day. I know for a fact that he’s straight now because when we interact, we don’t delve upon those days of mutual gratification. However, today, my childhood friend is married and has a wife and kid of his own, and he even had a great pre-Covid wedding party. While it was mostly me on the giving end of it, I thought of it as early target practice, since today I am as gay as Easter Sunday. A year later, the jerk-off sessions turned into handjobs, making out, and blowjobs.
We obviously didn’t think too much about it. So that’s what we did for almost two years. His mom would be out for work and his younger siblings would still be at school. There, at the age of 14, we would freefall into the murky backalleys of early 2000s internet pornography - the sorts that even after you shut the browser, a pop-up of a woman moaning kept returning on the desktop.īefore we got shunned from the local cyber cafes, we would take our half-hour surfing period to look at images of pink penises and vaginas and excitedly head to my friend’s place after to masturbate together.
The 200 Best Lesbian, Bisexual & Queer Movies Of All Time.LGBTQ Television Guide: What To Watch Now.One of my earliest experiences was chilling with my childhood buddy, playing video games, banging hot wheels into each other, and borrowing 10 rupees from our parents to go surfing at a cyber cafe. What comes up for you when you read the word on the page? Hear it spoken with your own tongue? What images come to mind? Feelings? Sounds? We all know what the word “pleasure” is, but can you remember a time when you were taught about what exactly it means? Where did you first learn about pleasure? I don’t mean sex, I mean pleasure. Netflix’s Principles of Pleasureattempts to answer this question, and also explains maybe why no one (other than straight cis men) knows about sex, sexual health and orgasms. Split across three hour-long episodes, this docuseries covers the big three when it comes to pleasure: our bodies, our minds and our relationships. Narrated by the fun and perky Michelle Buteau, she takes us through all of the miseducation about vulva’s, squirting, sex toys, masturbation, arousal, attraction and really everything under the sheets. Hill as they walk us through the details of anatomy, psychology and relationship dynamics. Many of the questions posed to participants revolve around their first recollections of sex and pleasure, only to demonstrate that we collectively know absolutely nothing about our bodies and that sex is intimately tied to shame. For example, did you know that the first true map of the clit wasn’t created until 2005? Yeah! Grey’s Anatomy omitted the clit because Freud thought clitoral orgasms were “immature.” Beyond anatomy, Principles of Pleasure clarified the difference between genital response and pleasure. Because our minds are the center of pleasure, our experience of it is totally independent of what is happening in or to our bodies.
Our genitals may not know all the warning, stop and go signals happening in the brain, which is more of a reason to understand and adhere to enthusiastic consent. Just because my vulva is wet doesn’t mean my brain is ready to go. None of this surprises me, but I guess I can’t point to a particular time and place where I explicitly learned this.īefore I started dating my first girlfriend, I could’ve seriously benefited from Principles of Pleasure.
I admit, before I met her, I thought my whole package was called a vagina and that masturbation was only for dudes (I was 23!).